Walking down the path of impartialness can be very tough, especially when you’re forced to take sides in an argument or conflict. Ever been in a situation where both your friends are debating over a serious issue, before asking for your opinion?
Most of us end up siding with one over the other, and someone’s bound to end up feeling hurt and alone from this. Like it or not, we are constantly faced with situations where we are the middle person in a vicious standoff. And to emerge from it unscathed is a rare occasion.
What can we do from our side, in order to improve such odds?
Listen to Both Sides of the Argument
It’s self explanatory, though how can you be diplomatic and solve both party’s issues without first listening to their concerns? I have met far too many people who don’t possess brains that filter their own thoughts before speaking. It rarely helps when no one is even willing to compromise in letting the other person explain him or herself first.
Which means that you, the third wheel, will have to do it for them. Throughout those shouts and name calling, only attentive and devoted listening can allow you to understand what lies beyond those hurtful remarks. This will allow you to obtain the privilege of being able to relate with both sides simultaneously.
Through the art of listening, information can be gathered. And once you have accomplished that…
Make Sure the Argument is Truly Over
The last thing you want to do is start sharing your thoughts prematurely, when both sides have not even concluded their part. It will be tough to figure out whether two people have finished arguing, or are they simply preparing for an even bigger one.
Wait it out and remain silent, even when you’re tempted to say something. And how can you tell if they are done? The easiest way to know, is when their eyes start looking around back and forth. Even looking at you counts as well, because that’s when they start to feel awkward over being speechless.
As we learn on how to stop interrupting others during the critical moments, your chance will arrive. And when you do so, it’s time to…
Summarise the Argument
Whether you realise it or not, we tend to jump straight into providing our thoughts at a moment’s notice. Though when you do that, the two arguers may assume that you still do not understand the entire issue. Think about it! If they have been arguing non-stop for more than a few minutes, how can they remember every single detail of that conflict? And if they don’t, how can they trust you to do so when you’re so eager to get right into expressing your opinion?
Jog their memory by recapping only what you understand from the argument. Not only does this put the whole thing into a better perspective, it also allows them to recognise that you have been actively listening. This can gain you more of their respect, and it puts them in a better position to listen to you.
Once you have their attention by learning how to summarise accurately, you will do best to…
Find a Mutual Benefit from the Argument
Given how subjective a fight can be, resolutions tend to favour one person over the other. This is what you’ll want to prevent, and the safest way to do so is by proposing a solution that benefits both parties.
It is the most challenging aspect of remaining neutral all this while, as you have to be carefully considerate about how both sides will react to that. You may not end up with the best answer, however it does not matter for as long as you remain objective throughout the entire time.
And if worse comes to worst, make sure you leave them in a situation where they can agree to disagree on the issue itself.
What Are the Key Takeaways?
If you’re ever confronted with another argument in the future, consider these points…
- Listen to both sides of the argument, and understand what they don’t.
- Make sure the argument is over, before you even begin to speak.
- Summarise the argument, to ensure that they recall important details.
- Find a mutual benefit from the argument, to provide a solution while maintaining your neutral stance.
Being objective and impartial is no easy task, and even the key points above are not a guaranteed approach that works 100%. This is simply a combination of my personal experience and information shared from other knowledge sources.
May you find this blog post a simple and effective read. If yes, do spread the knowledge to your family and friends by sharing it on Facebook and / or Twitter.
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Cheers!
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